15 Books and Films About Love & Relationships
Date Night China's Online Spirit Week continued with Talk Tuesday. China daters in our WeChat groups submitted books, movies, and other media about dating and relationships they would recommend others check out.
Thanks to the China daters who participated! It's not too late to join in. The rest of the week we'll have more topics, games, and chances to win money. Join our WeChat group to take part.
1. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
"A book I liked and that I found really useful is "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This book helped me understand myself better (I remember almost laughing out loud when I read the phrase "everything is understandable", it really made me feel better about ... everything. Great book for learning more about attachment styles."
2. Dating Around
"I would say I really love this show on Netflix called Dating Around. Which is basically Groundhogs Day with First Dates and basically a good way to show what NOT to do on First dates. There are 2 seasons and the most cringest ones are episode 2 of both seasons. Just fun easy content to watch."
"I’ve been watching it for the past a few days, it’s really good, you can see everything that you have been through in a date, it feels like you’re the person who is dating now! And there are so many details like you can feel that they are trying to impress each other and then end it up in every possible way! And I think it’s fun to observe them and try to guess which one can have the second date, but I never get it right! 🤷🏻♀"
3. Radical Ecstasy
"This one's BDSM with a spiritual twist, the authors call it "transcendent SM" which is pretty much borderline sex magic."
4. Love In The Time of Cholera
"Great book and writing about love that lasts decades but I dislike the protagonists."
5. The Course of Love
"I really liked this book and this quote was my favorite, I think. A less romanticised novel about romance."
6. The Ethical Slut
"A good book to start on if you're new to the poly world of relationships and want to explore a wider sexual universe, with notes on re-examining social constructs vocab and what effective/transparent communication looks like that could apply and be explored outside of polyamory as well."
7. Modern Romance by Aziz Anzari
8. He's Just Not That Into You
Classic movie about reading the signs when dating.
9. How To Be A Person in the World
I recommend any advice book by Heather Havrilesky who was "Ask Polly" for New York Magazine for a long time. Great and sobering advice on love and life.
10. Her
"It's just beautiful, its intimate, it's really insightful about our relationship with technology and what technology is doing in its role to help us find joy... and how it can also insidiously work against us finding joy."
11. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
"What if you could pay to have your memories of an entire relationship erased? What if you regret the procedure halfway through? It has very similar themes to Annie Hall in that they show that relationships aren't all sunshine and roses, but they are incredible forces in shaping us."
12. Don Jon
"The whole movie deals with how porn and romantic comedies fuck up the expectations of men and women, respectively. There is also a theme of dealing with toxic masculinity and how sometimes, a casual physical relationship can be healthier than a "serious" one built on assumptions."
13. The Road Less Traveled
"One book that I read a while back was The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. I thought it gave great advice about the importance of self-care and love and how that is framed, or should be framed and nurtured in a relationship. "When we love someone our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion--through the fact that for that someone (or for ourself) we take an extra step or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, love is effortful."
14. What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding
"My favourite book I've read in recent years. It mixes international dating with awesome travel stories. I think it was, and still is, reflective of my own life. Most of my childhood friends run households with multiple children, but I've spent my 20s traveling the world. The book helped me to realise that everyone moves along different paths, and there's no definitive way to find love."
15. The Amazing Story of the Man Who Cycles From India To Europe For Love
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Date Night China is a digital media platform and events organization based in Beijing that aims to build a positive community and share stories about relationships and dating in China. Follow our Wechat Account for the latest articles, new podcast episodes, and upcoming events.